im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
nutella sex= disaster
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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