how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
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No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
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So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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