I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
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was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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