Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize