jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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