so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
