How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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