Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
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im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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