The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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