Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Shame is for Republicans.
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