Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize