thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
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I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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