and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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