I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
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For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
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Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.