im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY