What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
that's an acceptable place to lick
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
