i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize