Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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