im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
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Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
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Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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