I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
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I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
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The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.