I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize