I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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