I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize