he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
