Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
