I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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