Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
