I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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