I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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