yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
