When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
