Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...