Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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