she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
