Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
