I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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