He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
