i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Soap is not a condiment
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize