So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
