how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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