Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
