she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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