i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize