You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My pussy is not your playground.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
