U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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