just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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