If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
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I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
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Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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