New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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