Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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