True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
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all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
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the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.