3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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